Monday, June 20, 2011

Dear Satellite Cable Provider,

This is just a hunch but I'm pretty sure that if you want to entice viewers to eventually subscribe to the movie channels you're currently previewing for us, I would advise that you remove the following doozies from the line-up:

"Child's Play 2"
"Gigli"
"Problem Child"
"Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigalo"
"Showgirls"

Even if you can't remove them completely, you might not want to show them over and over again, as it most definitely does not serve your purpose. I understand that there may be a sliver of the viewing population that enjoys those films (and I use that term loosely) but I guarantee you will not get inundated with angry letters from those four (maybe five) people if you, say, replaced the above with some decent ones. I love all kinds of movies and am no expert but I can tell you that repeating these particular ones again and again will not get you new subscribers. Trust me. There are SO many good films out there, many of which I am sure you have in your catalog. Let's get those gems on the tube!

Best regards,
A Vexed Viewer

4 comments:

  1. Indeed. Many moons ago, when TV was in its infancy, come summer it was "rerun" time. Now awful movies that shouldn't have been made in the first place are recycled, constantly.

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  2. Oh, I can't wait until I have the nerve to cancel all channels I don't care about. Yes, it takes some chutzpah!

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  3. What's wrong with Deuce? He's my favorite he-b!tch. I'm crossing my fingers for a screening of European Gigolo.

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