Thursday, May 31, 2012

Lyrics I Love

I hope Cade always takes the time to chase bubbles. Watching him play brought this song to mind . . .


"May your wishes all come true
May you always do for others
And let others do for you
May you build a ladder to the stars
And climb on every rung
May you stay forever young"

~Bob Dylan "Forever Young"

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

The Young and the Soapless Too


My first round of Soap Culture observations was SO much fun to document (click here to get caught up) that I couldn't help giving it another go. Thank you to those readers who inspired a few of these additional and oh-so-sudsy notes.

  • If you piss someone off enough, you will be buried alive and left for dead (typically in an encasement fully equipped with a video camera so the burier can relish live footage of the buried's struggle at all times). But, don't fret, because the odds are good that you'll escape somehow. Plus, you'll have your cell phone on you, which will miraculously have just enough cellage ("bars") for you to make a rescue call.
  • Why stop at a love triangle when you can experience the heartbreak and agony that comes along with a love rectangle or even a love pentagon (ooooohhh, ahhhhh)?
  • Well-tanned (and toned) men and women are always answering doors in nothing but a towel (still damp from the shower, of course). Seriously, who does that?
  • Clothes tear off easily during fights AND passionate moments.
  • Every time you open a door, the person you were just alluding to, talking or thinking about, will appear on the other side.
  • You will never actually see a swimming pool in Soap World. When someone jumps in a pool you see the water that splashes up (as if everyone does a cannon ball when entering a body of water) or you see the "edge" of a pool and what's supposed to be the reflection of the water on nearby buildings, houses, etc.
  • In Soap World, it is rare to marry for love. Husbands are easily ensnared, entrapped, and voila! -- engaged.
  • With each marriage, the diamonds get larger and more sparkley. Especially if the couple is re-marrying eachother for the second or third time. Wowza!
  • Everyone gets married in the same church. As if there's only one place of worship in town. Baptisms, and funerals are also held there. But, you never see anyone attending church "just because".
  • Weddings are planned and cancelled at the drop of a hat. Almost as quickly as couples fall in and out of love.
  • When you go blind in Soap World, you wear sunglasses 24/7 to signify your loss of eyesight.
  • People who live in mansions leave their doors unlocked on a regular basis. This LITERALLY leaves the door open for swift retaliation, etc.
  • Blackmail and bribery are more commonly used problem solving tactics than good ol' fashioned honesty or a conversation.
  • Pictures are often thrown in the trash, frame and all. Why waste a perfectly good frame?! You can still create a dramatic effect - just take the pic out and burn it or rip it up but spare the frame.
  • Your back will be stabbed (literally AND figuratively) by everyone (mostly family and friends) at some point in time.
  • Someone is always in the hospital for something MAJOR.
  • Everyone has the entire town's phone numbers (whether you're living, deceased, or in the witness protection program) saved in their phones.
  • Coffee is a beverage you drink at all hours of the day and night. Someone is always "grabbing a coffee".
  • Which brings me to the lack of sleep in Soap World. People make sweet love more than they get their beauty rest.
  • "You bastard!" (at times preceded or followed by a slap) is as common a greeting or exit as hello or goodbye.
  • While you are spilling your deepest, darkest, most intimate secret of the moment, the person you want least (in the whole world) to hear it, is lurking in the background (or on the other end of a telephone in the pre-cell days) soaking it all in and preparing to use it against you.
  • Every Soapy scenario is a worst case scenario.

Did I miss anything? I'd love to hear your additions so please share in the comment section below!