Are You There Blog?

It's me, Marja.

It has been exactly one year since my last post. Unacceptable but unavoidable because life happened. Literally.

Within the month of August 2012, my hubby and I were thrilled to find out I was expecting baby #2. And then, just like that (*snaps fingers*), my body betrayed me and the Hyperemesis gravidarum reared its ugly head (much more severely this time around) and set up shop for the long haul. I was sick my entire pregnancy (but thank you for some relief, Zofran!). On the days the meds worked, I thought about pulling out the laptop and getting back in touch with my creative side. Alas, they never worked THAT well. I was far too nauseous, barfy, and all around exhausted to do anything beyond taking care of Cade (thank you, Disney movies!). And that even became difficult on many occasions (thank you for making the trip so often to help, Mom!). That is the super short version. Ahhh, the miracle of life.

Of course it was ALL worth it. My wonderful husband picked up the slack everywhere (thank you, David!) and our adorable, amazing, wide-eyed, and super smiley second son, Kellan, joined the party in April. He arrived a little over one month early but I delivered him via successful VBAC (*high fives everyone in the vicinity*). Although he has had some unfortunate ailments to overcome since then, he is growing bigger and stronger every day and we are SO in love with the missing piece to our family. Cade is a sweet and loving big brother and so smart and funny and . . . (I'll save it for future blosts). We are blessed.

So it's not like I have been neglecting my writing on purpose. It just became less and less of a priority as Cade got older and we got busier and then it wasn't a priority at all . . . until now. Because I miss it. I need it. Writing challenges me, gets my synapses firing, AND is something I love. All in very different ways than motherhood challenges me and uses my brain. Plus, it's an amazing way to vent, share, keep in touch, and work through things. We all have "our thing". This is mine.

I love being a stay at home mom but having a second baby seriously steps things up a notch. It is HARD and it is WORK and I want to be doing it but I don't want to lose myself IN it. This week I reached a point where I realized that if I don't create some me time away from my kids, the line between "want to" and "have to" will become blurred and I don't ever want that to happen. So I NEED to be writing. Whether it's once a day, once a week, or once a month. Whether or not anyone besides my husband (I love you!) grandmother (thank you, Nomi!) or dear friends (#imbackbabies #blessyourhearts) ever reads it.  

Mama needs this. But, more importantly, Marja needs this. It feels good to be back.